I am a terrible person, I have decided.

Some shit's going on right now and I honestly don't know what the outcome will be. I have been crying all day. I had no idea my eyes could be this puffy. There is talk of drifting apart and guilt for lost futures and causes of misery.

Breathe In Breathe Out

Things could be worse. There are homeless kids.

Superficial, Vapid.

I miss college for the ability to do almost nothing and feel accomplished. I miss the ability to be able to binge drink til 4am then go to class the next day at 1pm. I miss feeling a part of something, even if it was only a part of a student body with 60,000 other people. I miss being able to be a fuck up and it being okay because everyone around me was just a fuck up too.

Now... I work and feel unaccomplished because my job is not related to what I majored in college. I can't drink more than 2 beers without being drunk and fall asleep by 10pm. I am a part of nothing now. I can't afford to be a fuck up because I have actual responsibilities now. And everyone around me is still a fuck up because they're still in school and it's horrible because when I mention how pointless everything has become in my life, they say generic "It'll be okay" words and then ask if I want to get high and/or drunk.